Firstly FRIENDSHIP. Todays world of iPhones, texting, email, iChat, skype, ect... Leaves us in a world full of acquaintances that we call friends and best friends who are just our friends and very few, if any, deep friendships. Our society now turns to only consumer vendor relationships and calls them friendships. Friendship is not a matter of if you make me happy, if i'm getting what i need, the person will benefit my career, i have special boundaries, and a sense of ownership. If you notice this is all about "me" and if it's not about "me" then i'll leave because the person isn't "selling" what i need to "consumer" to be happy. Why do most people use a consumer/vendor relationship for friendship and what makes up a "deep" friend?
Some good qualities of a deep friendship are self-sacrifice, sympathy, absent of standards, trust, communication, honesty-not just "niceness". But the 4 "rules" of a deep friendship contain these things:
1. a covenant,promise based on love( not the love only due to emotion but the love that contains choice). not in a marriage way but in a "if we fight i know your not gunna just leave" kind of way.
2.The person has the authority to speak into your life, have the power to help you make decisions because they have your best interest in mind. They can tell you when your in the wrong and you can take them seriously regardless of your pride.
3. They see your not so pretty place. The no-makeup self, the destroyed uncleaned home, the crazy side that freaks out, the selfish side, the angry and sad side.
4. common passion- you both are sharing something that you can give and receive and have your needs met not by one another but full on your own and sharing life together
"Friendship arises when two or more discover they have in common insight or interest...That is why those pathetic people who simply 'want friends' can never make any. The very condition of having friends is that we should want something else besides friends. Where the truthful answer to the question Do you see the same truth?'would be "i don't care about truth i only want you to be my friend', no real friendship can arise. There would be nothing for the friendship to be about. Those who have nothing(as in nothing to give and only focused on themselves) can share nothing; those who are going nowhere can have no fellow travelers"
-C.s. Lewis
We should have a community with all sorts of people in it acquaintances, buissness reltaionships, hang-out friends, teachers, mentors' and REAL DEEP FRIENDSHIPS. Who are you surrounding yourself with?
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