Jaundice...???

After I arrived home for spring break from my six hour plan ride I WAS STARVED! So my older brother, mom and I went to eat At Martha's by the strand in Hermosa Beach. My favorite thing to get there is the Tofu Scramble mmmmm delicious! After enjoying some hot coffee with Soy my mom says, "Jillene...you're yellow"...my brother says, "Oh yeah I noticed that too I just thought you were trying some new bad makeup...".
...okay 1. if I were wearing BAD MAKEUP please bring that to my attention? and 2. NOT WEARING MAKEUP!!! so like I'm yellow?
I said "yeah you know I did start noticing my eyes weren't as clear as they usually are and the bottoms of my feet seemed a little more yellow then usual..."

I guess that was a problem. I went to the doctor that afternoon for blood tests, and an ultra sound. I'm not sexually active, I don't have a tattoo and I don't do drugs so I knew it wasn't Hep... and everything in all my tests came out clear...so whew no liver or kidney disease my way, but here's he thing I WAS STILL YELLOW!!! So I decided that I should start investigating this transformation for myself. What had changed? Why could this be the case?

This past Sunday I got out of church and it was pouring rain. I needed to walk too many blocks to the station so I popped into Organic Avenue uptown to see what it was. It was an all natural juice place with many natural remedies, i thought I'd ask them what they thought about my Jaundice problem. The guy working, who happened to be a dancer for Merce Cunningham...NBD, told me about the effects of too much protein. He sia dthat yes even though it may fasten your metabolism which may help with weight loss it makes everything in your body work quicker resulting in quicker aging as well! who wants to get older quicker? I sure don't...

A few weeks earlier after being a vegetarian/ vegan on and off for 10 years I thought I'd start eating chicken on a daily basis. I'm really interested in body building and sculpting my body as an athlete would. I thought I'd need more protein to begin this venture so I added non-fat yogurt, cottage cheese, and chicken and fish back into my diet...I also noticed I'd been drinking a lot more coffee than I normally do which I know is hard on the liver and kidneys (the organs responsible for jaundice). After hearing this dancer speak about the terrible sides of meat, I was happy to cut the chicken back out again and begin to grapple with some concerns...

What if I took everything I've learned thus far in my life and actually began applying it? What if i listened to the various lessons I've had in nutrition and health, and my various trainers and ran with this information? What if I began to change!
My first step is to cut the coffee and switch to green tea, cut the chicken and go back to the protein powder. I know I felt great adding in the yogurt and cottage cheese (non-fat) so that's going to be a keeper for now. But I'm curious in this journey? Is it possible to be a vegetarian and create beautiful lean muscle? Is it also possible to clean my organs and feel shiny and new as a person? I want to start making life changes. I want to start shifting from my old ways into some new ways. As I approach my college graduation and begin to step into "real life" I want to start being a "real person"... the person I've always dreamed of being. Imperfect, but still challenging myself daily. I'm interested in beginning to live my dreams now, in my artistry, in my body, in my thinking, and by who I surround myself with.

I've always been focused on the past, dwelling on it...romanticizing it, and comparing myself to it or punishing my self about it. This is dumb and not helpful. What would my life look like if I were interested in the present? If I'm interested in my choices NOW that will lead to my better tomorrow?

Vow: I will never diet again but rather begin cognitive thinking about healthier choices that serve my body and keep me connected with myself
: I will continue to inspire myself daily however I need
:I will stop pushing myself aside and begin loving this girl, this womyn I'm with everyday!

I believe in change, I know it's hard...I know it may sound silly and like it's been said before so why is this different?Because I have a plan!! And as I've learned from many a trainer, "if you don't have a plan, the world has one for you!"

Get ready world because I'm pushing forward towards my dreams of a thriving mind, body, and soul!

...so I guess turning yellow was a good thing? It was a clear sign things needed to change...