Wednesday, December 28, 2011

A Creative Letter to My Demon from My Angel


Dear Monster of Discouragement and Doubt,

Hello. I am The Princess. I am the one who lives in the supreme balance, the perfect point where reality and fantasy meet. I am able to straddle them both in order to be connected with the world and all its gurgling belly explosions yet simultaneously connected with heaven and all its wonder that allows me to take life as dust and laughter. YOu- MOnster- don't live in either. YOu don't live in truth and you don't know anything about my student JIllene Anzanetta JOhnson. I'm the one who's been teaching her and coaching her for years. She is beautiful, healthy and lovely already and yet I inspire her and remind her there's always room to grow. She is well dressed, seductive, conservative, artistic, and regal yet I've taught her to continue to explore new possibilities. She is every man's dream if treated correctly and she is everyone's medicine if taken for the right ailment.

YOu, are nothing. YOu are but a fleeting thought not even original to any individual.

I create uniqueness and you create sameness. YOu plant the same boring ideas in everyone's head while I create sparkling new ones. You tie and bog people down the same way each time while i lift people up in instances or in a long duration with a new exciting spin each day.
Jillene is strong and capable and deserves a well paying job regardless of the lies you try to fill in her head. She deserves trusting faithful love regardless of her past. I've taught her those lessons and she's stronger because of her past, not weaker. Never weaker. She WILL fight you about it for I've trained her well. She's strong enough to hear you but not listen to you. I've taught her the power of choice, boundaries, and self-control. She is going to change worlds for people. She will grow rubies out of death, bring shame to life, all with the power of me! I am fueled by the Holy Spirit. I am fueled by God.
All truth. All love. All the time.
Haven't you seen the movies reflecting this fight? Haven't you read The great book? What's there to fight about? Time is circular and I've already won. She's already won.
You are but sheer repetition lost in time....

Monday, November 28, 2011

My Thanksgving Break Inspired some poetry...




Pedaling Footsteps: A 2a.m. Tune.
by: Jillene Johnson





Re-tune, footsteps, melodic pathways.
brewing oceans breaking, distant melodies...
a new song birthed from the womb of
anticipation.
Lilac sky, map. Closed eyes, key.
Breath.
Fog melts, cleanse, clear, create, haze.

And the footsteps move
in hope of another silhouette.

Vibrant melody. Footstep melody.

Re-set, go. pedaling freely.
Cut the quiet silence.
ocean orchestra, time, silhouette absent.
Pedal on.
expectation seeds sprout, unaware
and alert.
A mirror, a window,
black rose lips. Transparency.

And the absence is broken by
her silhouette.

Vibrant melody. Pedaling melody.

1 step forward 2 steps back.
1 step forward 2 steps back.
eyes meet~footsteps cease.
A silence so loud it must be broken.
a kiss.
A sea of wet kisses
arethe only things loud enough
to quiet the silence.
The shadows made light
as the bodies transform
into one ocean
of crashing
kiss
es
.


xxx

Sunday, October 16, 2011

My Dance Piece: The Caffiene Lullaby


I'm currently working on a dance piece in my Choreographic Research class that i may or may not use as part of my senior work. Right now I have my lovely performers Hillary, Anina, Laura, Emily, Sophie and Lindsey taking part in this process with me. Processing my pieces either out loud or through writing always help my creative direction to flow...here's where I'm at currently...

As usual I’m interested in the body expressing not only through movement but with its voice and attitude as well. I’m interested in blurring the lines of dancer and singer while still letting the area in which each performer feels most comfortable be a place of departure. I hope to grow each performers comfort zone in themselves and break the barriers of what they allow and stop themselves from doing. We all have a voice, we all have a body. The body moves, the voice makes sounds… how can I create a freedom in this for my peers while still stressing expertise in the process?

One of the ways of blurring this line is with the material. My experience with post-modern dance is a phenomenon of the trained or untrained body doing pedestrian movement. In this same way I feel like lullaby’s and carols are the “pedestrian movement” of the voice; something that takes thought and energy and welcomes anyone to participate who is willing. Through the use of specific but pedestrian movement and a homophonic lullaby I hope to find a rhythm in the body and voice that allows both the dancer and the audience to feel the ease, peace, and joy of the lullaby serenity we experienced as children. However, I don’t want it to be a purely one toned piece (as lullaby’s tend to be. The coffee physically in the dance will serve as various ins and outs of the steady paced direction the dance wants to move in.

I’m interested in using live voices because I think something very different happens to a space when there are live voices resonating in the body versus a recorded sound. I chose this song for no other reason than it appealing to my nature. It hits something in me that gives me peaceful joy. In a stressful time, like the senior year of college, I am challenged by both the want to slow down through lullaby’s and the need to stay on track with my daily caffeine intake. This is a constant struggle in every artist’s life. The slowing down to allow creative ideas to grow while staying up to speed and getting “the bills paid”. In a perfect world I could move at my own speed and drink coffee for the taste, luxury, and comfort of its sweet aroma. I hope to have this dance contain a glimpse of the unbroken world I long to create in.

XoXo

Thursday, September 22, 2011

Best Cookies Ever!!


For my Birthday this past week I got some AMAZING, touching, beautiful gifts from my friends and family, but one gift that was REALLY helpful was a Gluten-Free Baking cook book! Now i love cooking, and baking...but my experiments with baking in the past have been...well pretty rough. My friends and family have smiled and complied with tasting my crazy Gluten free, egg free, sugar free, dairy free creations.... but they all have been well not the tastiest things in the entire world. Don't get me wrong there has been some moments of brilliance but mostly moments of failure. But now-I've adapted one the books recipes and have actually successfully made delicious gluten free egg free chocolate chip cookies!!!! so delicious please try!(i like making them organic so they're a little healthier but of course its not necessary)

Time prepare:10 minutes
Time cook: 10 minutes
Serving: 30 cookies
Oven : 350 degrees

Ingredients:

1 C. brown rice flour
1 TBLS cocoa power
1.5 TBLS of Egg replacement ENER-G (whole foods)
2 TBLS hot water
7 TBLS organic cane sugar
6 TBLS organic light brown sugar
1 TBLS molasses
6 TBLS organic whipped butter
1/4 C soy milk
semi sweet dark choc. chips

1.Combine Dry Ingredients
2.Combine wet ingredients
**it's gunna seem more moist than doughy--this is normal**
3. scoop lil tiny scoops onto a baking sheet sprayed with some non-stick something
4. sprinkle choc. chips on the lil' cookies.


The cookies will pop out crisp and delicious! they're the crunchy dippy kind and i love them hope you do to!!!

Monday, August 29, 2011

A regular Day in NYC...



This posting originally was an email response- but this day was so NY and so amazing i thought I'd share it with all of you-I was blessed with a tremendously restful Sunday, and Monday. This time of rest, right before school starts, couldn't have come at a better time.

My email read:
A regular day in NYC... well that's kinda the thing i love about it here. There aren't regular days. Like everyday is a new adventure on its own. You never know who you will meet or what exactly will happen. Don't get me wrong, you can have a very routine life if you want to here- i mean it was built for that (all the business success and such) but it also allows people like myself, to thrive on spontaneity. Frankly, the only routine thing in my life here is getting coffee...
( and working out... am i right besties?)

Today for example. I woke up after a rainy and windy night and NEEDED to go outside. The subways were still closed, taxis still sparse and yet people were out on the streets wanting to enjoy their Sunday off. Though it was 12 in the afternoon, it looked about 7pm for it was very dark. There was a sense of camaraderie among all of us walking the streets, blessed to not have been affected by the storm, and eager to find a cafe that decided to stay open regardless of all the hurricane warnings. Callie and I walked to one of my favorite coffee shops I only go to in the summer, because it's so close to the Hudson River, called Mojo. We each got our iced coffee's with soy and ventured towards the river.

We sat on a wooden bench right on the river and watched the water crash from the fast winds, the clouds race across the sky- quickly but elegantly, and the various New Yorkers on their morning run or walking their dogs. It seemed everyone wanted to be outside regardless of the chill and the 50mph winds. Oh but the wind made the tree's sing! The rustling of the leaves in the "too quiet for NYC" atmosphere was angelic. Callie and i hardly spoke as we sat on the bench for an hour and gradually calmed as we gazed into the river.

Then we went to find another cafe and stumbled upon the PATH cafe on Christopher street. A cool little place with art and chill music. We sat in our booth and read our separate books for two hours over tea, and of course sharing wit one another our interesting quotes as they popped up. Each of us going in and our of prayer and reading prayer and reading. I finished my book, "Just Kids" by Patti Smith and felt so accomplished! You know that feeling one gets when finishing a book that's for sheer pleasure?

By now it was 6p.m. We went home. I made some dinner (bell peppers with onions, soybeans, olive oil and sesame seeds) and Callie ate her salad. Then a friend FB'd her and said he was in NYC. We told him to meet us at Washington square park. He was super silly. A really tall gangly guy with blond hair and thick rimmed glasses. He had so much spunk and no shame. He was a musician who had recently been discovered while playing in the park by the same guys who produced Michael Jackson and Elvis!? The three of us went to my favorite bakery, Roccos, for some dessert and hot cocoa and learned more about one another.

The night was still young. I suggested we go find a guitar and he can play us his songs at Washington Square Park! He agrees. The huge fountain in the middle of the park was asking for us to come, sit down and play. He began his acoustic melodies. The empty park embraced his music with open arms. Soon the barren fountain surrounded by lit lamp posts and green tree's began to swell with people as his music persisted. Callie and I harmonized along to his gorgeous voice. Late night people in their 20's gathered closer to hear his original tunes. Two free spirited girls took off their shoes and hopped in the fountain and began dancing playfully along. One girl holding a sunflower in her hand without a care in the world while the other came up to us and offered some of her jasmine tea with gin~ a drink only she with her unbuttoned excitement would have concocted.

His music was the perfect accomplice to this adventurous night. The stillness from the storm united all of us. everyone applauded as he finished his last song. His music created a small community in that moment. So a regular day in NYC...what's that like? well I'm not the one to tell you, my days are anything but regular...













Saturday, August 27, 2011

Hurricane Irene Intuition

On Sunday night I was in LA and my mother and i were discussing me staying in town for the rest of the week. I began explaining to her, "I don't know how to describe it but, this is the first time-out of all my visits back and forth to each coast that i feel like its wrong for me to leave." There was something in my gut that was telling me to stay but i couldn't pin point why?
My sweet adoring mother- who of course wanted me to stay anyway just to see me said, " well Jillene you've never felt like that before when leaving here...maybe you should stay? I will pay whatever fee to have you stay longer". I thought you know what- yeah i'll text my boss.

As i was walking upstairs i was trying to connect with why i wanted to stay, why i felt i NEEDED to stay. Was it because i just had an AMAZING weekend with some amazing people? Was it because i really wanted to see my family? ... I went to text my boss and then saw my phone filled with texes from friends excited to see my return and then remembered the little commitments i had made: A carner and gregor workshop with my BFF (good for career), errands for the wedding i was working on saturday(good for money), dinner with friends, Nail appt for the wedding etc...little things that would be totally fun!

I come back down stairs, "you know mom, the longer i stay, the harder it will be for me to say goodbye. I might as well just go so i can be there for my boss to work this wedding".

I fly home.

Monday night i have a very weird dream about the end of the world and rain and water following Callie and my family wherever we went. It was really gnarly and i felt very strange in the morning but brushed it off. Then we had an earthquake in NYC that morning. Strange. I worked in the day for my boss doing errands here and there for the wedding so i would have $ for the voice workshop that night with my BFF. I'd already done a workshop with these artists before so it was more to join in on it with Callie and stay connected. But then my friend cancelled... but i still already gave them my word i would go. So the money i had earned that day just went straight towards a workshop i didn't really "have" to do...and i was sick...so i wasn't able to put my best foot forward in the first place. Don't get me wrong- i had a BLAST- musical theater is my passion after all but ...Already i felt like.Gosh why didn't i stay home?

Then the next day, doing more little wedding stuff, (which i always enjoy) and we get our forecast about hurricane Irene coming in. My dinner plans slowly start cancelling due to travel. BUt i still have the wedding i have to work so i have to keep my best foot forward. I go and get a mani/pedi for the wedding, spending a little more work money and they look great! Im all reved up and stoked for my first four seasons hotel extravaganza!

The hurricane warnings are getting more intense, i need to get non- perishable groceries...okay go to the store...get bottled water, canned and dried foods, all the things you need if power and such were to run out and spent the equivalent to what i had earned that week. Well thank God I had worked in the first place to have the money to spend?! However if i was home...yes i woldn't have earned the $...but i wouldn't have spent the money either. So at this point i'm still pretty even.

Then we hear the MTA, and taxis are closing down the day of the wedding. How am i going to get to the wedding? or rather GET BACK TO MY APPT. after the wedding since its way uptown and I'm way downtown?! My boss tells me they shut down the church we're having the wedding in and moving it to the hotel. hm....How is this gunna work out?

Friday night i finally get in contact with my boss and she tells me that i should stay home and stay safe, even if i needed the money. Yes, safety is important but at this point the whole reason i came back to NYC when i did was for working this wedding. Now my mani and pedi and the $ spent on it are pointless. And the sunny CA days i could have had will be spent inside... maybe with no electricity...

What would have happened if i would have listened to my gut instincts on Sunday night and stayed home for one more amazing week in LA? My pull towards advancing my career in Musical theater with the composers workshop, the income from the wedding jobs( and i just really love working weddings and working with my boss), and excitement over seeing friends, over powered my gut intuition about needing to stay home. I looked at it as sticking to my commitments and responsibilities. God does want our yes's to be yes's after all. But was it really a love over "worldly desires" that were over riding my intuition instead? Was it the holy spirit giving me that gut wrenching "STAY HOME" to protect me from the storm to come and i just ignored it?

Thankfully God works all things out for my good, so this will end well... but the journey may be more than i needed to bare had i just stayed in LA like i intuited i should... We'll see how this weekend was glorified in my next posting perhaps. Stay safe NYC. THis hurricane will be over before we know it! <3

Wednesday, August 24, 2011

Manhattan CA to Manhattan NYC


After a beautiful three weeks in Manhattan Beach California of creating captivating memories with my family and friends, I was shocked at the pick up pace I'd forgotten about here in NYC.

While in LA my days consisted of running on the beach, tanning on the beach, going out to eat with friends and family, seeing movies, enjoying company over coffee, in the car, or at a Fro-Yo place. I got to chill at a few bars, go out dancing, re-connect with friends outside the town, and reconnect with old friends inside the town. Basically each day i woke up at whatever time i wanted and my only plan was to enjoy those around me, whomever they may be~ and be intentional about who i spent my time with. My days glided peacefully through the hours with laughter, thoughtful conversations, and the simply joy of sharing company with those i love. As i said my goodbyes, i honetsly held back tears to each person i parted with. The trip was too good to let go of- but for right now, I'm still in school and have my responsibilities to attend to. So off i fly!

The day after i fly in I'm up. Going through mail, paying bills, and getting ready for work! I throw un a pair of jean shorts and a flowy tank and my sandals...look in the mirror...and realize whoa- i'm so not in LA this is NOT going to work for meeting with the wedding clients and my boss. Undress. Black slip, Red dress, ankle flats, and makeup--there's the other Manhattan Girl I'd been storing for three weeks. As i do 12 things at once (perfume, brushing teeth, texting my bosses, finding money) i scramble out of my appt and run into Cafe Reggios for some iced coffee...Then off to the subway!

I make it down the subway steps only to learn that in my scramble, apparently NYC had an earthquake and i was such a spaz getting my life together i didn't even feel it! but the subway did. All the card machines were down. It was cash only and i had to get uptown by 3:00 p.m. to meet our client for a wedding this saturday. It was 2:40pm LUCKILY since i'd been used to saving my quarters for the Manhattan Beach parking i was able to collect exactly 2.25 in change. I"M OFF!

I get off the subway and call my boss because she's not so hot on the fact there was an earthquake here in the city...well the whole city was actually "pretty shook up over it" wha wha wha.... But i had to call her to see if she was still able to meet me. As i'm talking to her i'm trying to find the Random House Inc. to meet with our client... ugh i realize i went the wrong way~ turn around and try to casually act like i'm not running in a silk red dress, with my phone in hand, on the upper west side. SOOOO Dorky!

I make it in right on time and pick up what i need. Then back in a cab to go all the way down town and pick up 5 boxes of more wedding gear. I talk to my cab driver about waiting for me and then going one more stop because the boxes were gunna be big and heavy. He assures me its fine. I'm texting my bosses, friends, peers at school, trying to get reconnected with my life back here by answering the 8 million texts i hadn't responded to while reviewing the other 8 million emails i'd received. Plus all of Manhattan was in a cab in fear of the earthquake so traffic was pretty fun.

We pull up down town and my cab driver changes his mind, "so actually im not gunna be able to wait for you- sorry"...a...more like sorry NOT SORRY! I get out of the cab and go to pick up these boxes. Once i get there the concierge has NO idea what i'm talking about...K great...we find someone who does- they hail me another taxi and i start crawling my way down to my last stop to put the wedding totes together. I get down there and start carrying the really large boxes by myself down to the complex. No help from the driver...womp and start setting them in the doorway. THEN THE SECURITY GUARD COMES OUT AND SAYS..." you can't bring these boxes in they're too big. you need a permit". a WHAT?! i tried being smiley and kind and explaining with her that they are going up to my boss and they're not a delivery i just simply am coming out of a taxi with them...she wouldn't have it.

Luckily my boss arrives- we call the appt. manager and get them up into the room. I unpack the boxes and start assembling the totes while trying to connect with her darling children I'd missed all summer. Quite the balancing act! I'm tying and stuffing, typing and stuffing and then my boss get's a message from our client...there's another box she had forgotten to send down. WHEW! So i finish the bags then get on the subway back to where i just came from to pick up the extra box.

Have you noticed i haven't eaten yet today? yeah i was getting SUPER tired.

I get the boxes, hop back in another cab and back to my Bosses place. We finish up the details and pack the bags into her car for the morning delivery. I was rushed and excited over the day, and was having so much fun being on my feet and being useful i didn't even notice all the little halts throughout the day. I did notice that i was starving! I get back on the subway and make it to my roommate's work at 7:40 pm. And finally begin to replenish my self with a spinach/tofu/tomato/avocado/artichoke/cucumber with lemon squeezed for dressing salad. But once 8 o'clock hit... I was back on the subay uptown to go do a musical theater workshop with the composer and lyricist Carner and Gregor to work a song.

I'm trying to warm up on the subway and review the lyrics i hadn't touched all day- praying they would still be there from the brief time i worked on the song in CA. Off the subway- to the rehearsal space-and I work on their beautiful song with them as well as hear a young man my age work on another song of theirs. His song (Stay Awhile) instantly connected to my heart and i got pretty sappy... the lyrics, "what's your hurry pretty girl? Its perfect here, so stay a while"... I'd been hurrying all day and the words of a boy saying "pretty girl" brought up a recent memory that flooded my heart with butterflys.

I began my song (Shoulders down) and instantly connected again. It was amazing! I love singing, and acting, and using my artistry with complete passion. The lyrics that most resonated, "And it's a little bit scary to take the leap but it's sure to be a killer view. who knew? That i could feel so free! I'm living my potential now, it's time to put these skills to use. And we'll write out own destinies. It's time. So i'm peeking out of my hiding place. I got my four inch heels and my best attempt at grace. These are precious years, that we can't replace, so i'm stepping out for a while! And we're heading off to go on the town. I'm not even gunna try to hold back my smile as I begin feeling bold. and i let my shoulders down." And that is exactly what i did.

I finished my song, chatted a little bit, then hopped back on the subway downtown to my cozy little apartment and let my shoulders down. I grabbed some Goat's milk frozen yogurt that was mexican vanilla and pink rose pedal flavored with my Best friend and settled into the night. What a day, what a NYC city day! It's surely not my beach town anymore- but this energy is just as powerful for God's kingdom as the crashing of the waves back home.
I hope I can marry my loves for both coasts...i dunno how i'd ever pick just one. I'm in love with them both. I'm just a Manhattan to Manhattan kind of girl...

Friday, August 5, 2011

Poem Decmber 2003( 13 years old)

(this one is just darling...hahahaha)

Title: Now I'm happy

I was sitting there stressed
Sitting there depressed

Then i answered the phone
Because you called my home

You said you were outside
And were just driving by

So i grabbed my sweatshirt
And ran down in a fluster

I was excited to see you
and you wanted to see me to

Then i gave you one stare
and rose into the air

Wrapped my arms around your shoulders
so long I felt us getting older

Your face simply lightened mine...I wish this could happen all the time....

Poem December 2003 (13 years old)

Title: 79% of Gone

When I




Fist glanced at your face
I began
To loose trace of
All the things I used to know
You come towards me and I go Cause
I don't need another distraction
You don't need my awful reaction to your
wrong doings, your hate, and your love
you will soon become a dove and
fly away from me and my heart
take all our love and rip it apart.

You say you love me- HAH, that's a joke
I cry and I cry and begin to choke on
all the tears you've helped me produce
Whatever, see ya later there is no use
you will never learn
you will never see
all the pain you've caused in me.

Should i stick with our relation- or give it away?
Let someone else take it, you don't care anyway.
So you do your thing and I'll do mine
and we'll see who's where in time.
I'm leaving you now so go over there and sit,
Cause this aint worth it!

Poem May 2004 (14 years old)

Title: 2 Lives GOne

Life floating away like the brush from a fire.
Dreams dissapearing fears growing.


Wonderment fills your mind, your heart, your soul then
drip drip drip your purple blood crawls like creatures and pumps through your brain
replaying the question~ What is my Purpose? and you don't know...

The wind blows faster as you fall on the floor while your blood turns red as it hits the air
trickling from your wrists.

Whispers become screams
you drop your knife, stare and float away never knowing the meaning of your life or of the one that lays in your center whose dreams were never born.



Poem May 2004 (14 years old)

Title: My Passion


It's an overwhelming breath of oxygen fleeing into your body
than a rush of energy is born within your center.

Through your muscles and ligaments to the tips of your fingers
causing each step to glide across the floor.

You run towards him as he raises you to the heavens.
Music is pounding, the lights brighter as the sky opens up and you're flying in the arms of your prince.

Float back down into his arms and drift away within the heart of your passion...

Poem from June 10 2004 (14 years old...)

Title: ( Not Named)


All the Hardships gone
No longer am I profound I mottled your cry for help but the time was moving too fast.


Memories over powering our helpless bodies that we cannot control
So they fall apart...

Wetness pouring through the sight
No feelings
No movement

Steadily, the leaving spirit cries out

Leaving. Forgetting.

Starting new beginnings; new ends

Does this space end or live without control?

Staring through the life and the physical into the mind and soul

Departing and never returning
Changing to view things form an others' sight

Will it change?
No. There is no control,
Only a translucent touch

CAP-21 Summer...



The Blogs took a little summer breather as I was participating in the CAP21 Professional Summer program. I've wanted to be in CAP since middle school...I thought I was meant to be in their college at NYU but God's plan (which never holds any good from me) was to go to AMDA, then the New School University, THEN have a treat during my last college summer in the CAP21 program. Well once again, God wins.... typical. It's been perfect. Life is all about timing, God's timing, and this was the perfect time to be in this program. I am hungry to learn, hungry to be part of the industry and hungry to grow as an artist. By his hand alone the most perfect group was formed, Group 4. Our teachers excelled far beyond any coaching I've worked with as of yet. Their words, all gems to mine ears that inspired gifts within me that have sat dormant since I've left AMDA. And most importantly i found the key to my heart that unlocked depths i haven't touched in years.

Surrounded by the humble and talented rising artists in my group I was overwhelmed with the camaraderie shared among us. The truth past through our conversations, the discoveries made together, the laughter shared, and the oneness that blossoms when in a company of actors that compete only within themselves. Monday through Friday, day in day out, we were offered one of the greatest gifts of all an artist can ask for: a platform. A stage to share, a space to create, an environment to grow.

While at the New School I've been so focused on the academic and "avant-garde" side of me that i wasn't sure if musical theater was what I wanted. I felt this program would give me a good taste of what my life could be like. If this was something i could do everyday...if i could do 8 shows a week...and it's a YES. Yes to opportunity, yes to being an artist in every sense, yes to the mainstream world and yes to the downtown scene. I love it all-i want it all and i want to impact it all. All art can be important as long as your point of view is there. Jennifer Anniston and Maryl Streep show up on the same screen with outstanding pay checks and yet who do we call the artist between these two and why? Whether its Hollywood or Kitchen 21, Broadway or a Jazz Cafe there's room for artistry. Because being an artist is a mindset, a journey...not only the platform you are given.

Now my next journey in August after going going going for these past few months is to soak in the sun, read books, read my past diaries (that I've just found and thought I'd lost), to reflect and cry, reflect and laugh- settle and re- energize for this upcoming year. These next entries, I hope to include snip~its from previous diaries of thoughts i believed, events that shaped me, and poetry I created... enjoy!!!

...and trust the path God has set out for you....

Sunday, June 19, 2011

Were our metabolisms different in high school...or our behavior?


Everyone talks about the crazy "freshmen fifteen" or how we can't be our high school weight because our bodies were different. But was it our bodies and metabolisms that were different...or our behaviors? I took the time to really asses the amount of moving, sleeping, and eating I personally was doing in highschool to see just how much it was my "metabolism" that changed, or my life style.

When i saw a "makeover show" about a girl loosing weight over a year i was astonished at what i saw. There was one period of 3 months where the girl worked out 4-5 hours everyday but wasn't watching her eating as much...not being crazy...just not sticking to her 1500 calz a day...and only lost 3 lbs!!! vs. the 3 month period before, while mindfully eating, she lost 65+!!!! i was shocked at how much what we consume affects us...more then working out .

So how much did we move in high school? How much did we eat? Well, if my memory serves me correctly this is roughly what a typical Jillene high school day was like.

Woke up with just enough time to grab a piece of toast and hop in the car. I ate Ezekiel cinnamon Raisin toast with nothing on it. (about 80 cals) Then i went to zero period. After 45 minutes, walked to first period(5 minute walk). Then from first to 2nd( 5 minutes) then it was nutrition (15 minutes on my feet).
I didn't know much about nutrition in high school but i knew i was supposed to drink water. Since i was so bad at remembering to drink water i always made myself drink a whole bottle during nutrition so i could say at least i had a bottle of water. Maybe if i was starving i'd have an apple as well but usually not. I was too busy mingling and drinking my water bottle to also fit an apple in there.
Next to 3rd period. over (5 minute walk) to 4th period. Then it was lunch. By lunch time i would much rather be spending my time flirting with boys then eating a sensible meal. So i would be on my feet dancing around, being an attention whore...probs burning at least 200 cals just by doing that. Then i probably ate a few tater tots(200) or an apple(100), or a cookie(200)...If i was feeling famished i might have even gone for a bagel(250). I remember when i was trying to be healthy i would eat a salad, with no dressing, a little bit of cheese with pine nuts and tomatoes.
5th period was drama (again on my feet the whole time flirting or being an attention whore) 5 minute walk to next class, then school was out.

So let's review just in walking from class to class is = 30 minutes of walking + about an hour and a half from jumpin' around at lunch, nutrition and drama...many more calz burned

After school I had a bowl of cereal(250 calz), then I was either at cheer-leading, dance class, or rehearsing for the musical... more calories burned there.

After that i would go to the gym, not realizing how physical i was-just knowing people should go to the gym daily...and make sure i burned 300-500 calories.. then whatever boyfriend would come over...and if we were making out like crazy high schoolers that's even MORE calories burned...

For dinner my mom made a meat, and a veggie and a starch...i didn't do carbs, and was a vegetarian so not a whole lot of dinner was happening. I'd have some dessert...probably like cheezits or ice cream, then hw. I always made sure to go to bed at 10 because i was tired all the time (now i see why) so i got roughly 9 hours of sleep every night.

Now of course this would change on weekends but this was my basic daily life style and schedule. On top of all that, the amount of laughing, crying, and just being the energetic human i am goes even more towards the amount of calories i was burning on a daily basis.

So between eating about 800-1,000 calories a day, burning about 1,000 calories a day...it's NO WONDER i was X lbs lighter. So i am here to disprove that thing people say "we can't be our high school weight because or metabolisms have slowed" i think it's my lifestyle that "slowed"... It's all about balancing energy in vs. out...and a lot more was going out then! That. is. for. sure!

BUT I am far healthier. I actually eat fruits and vegetables now, am mostly a vegetarian, and walk more then drive in my LA car...so there is some improvement in terms of health!! I don't know so much if i was healthier in high school...just lighter in lbs...

What about u? Are you in better shape then you were in high school??? or worse??? DUN DUN DUN!!!!

Friday, June 17, 2011

Finally got my "Sex in the City" Pool Day!!!


Ever since i saw the episode of Sex in The City where Sammantha takes the girls to an amazingly expensive roof top pool...i have desired this luxury. NOt something for a "whenever i want" basis...but just to experience it.

So, after waking up at 5am from the crazy thunderstorm i thought, oh great! how am I ever gunna get rejuvenated in time for my audition on Sunday. ( My plan for the past 3 days have been to relax and sleep). Little did i Know the beautiful day God had planned for me!

I woke up feeling refreshed and put on my silk Anthropology dress and black flats with my diamond earrings to go meet my mentor for lunch at the Peninsula Hotel on the Upper East Side. Originally we were meeting early in the morning for a pillates class...so i didn't know if the plan had changed...so i emailed her. "Should i bring my gym clothes?" her reply...."oh no- they provide them for you, just bring a bathing suit if you want to use the pool later".... oh. Duh? Of course, how silly of me..... ?!?!???

So i arrive at the beautiful hotel, go up the beautifully carpeted stairway till i reach the elevators that take me to the top floor. I walk out into a dimly lit oak room. I am greeted with a bottle of water while i wait for my lovely mentor...

Once she arrives we put our things in the locker while she gives me a thorough tour of the spa, gym, pool, and all the amenities. She makes sure i get a small pair of slippers, pool shoes, a small robe, and a fresh apple and water to stow away in my locker for when i'm finished.

We go up to the pool that is all glass and over looks central park west, The Moma, and the St. Regis Hotel. My breath is taken away... Beautiful architecture really captures my soul....We go over to the FREE espresso machine that makes me a beautiful latte, then walk towards the lounges to sit till our food is brought up to us. We talk about God, life, work, God, and so on. I always feel so full when i'm with her. Her love for the lord is tremendous and deep.

Our food comes, i got a lobster and scallop salad, she a club turkey sandwich with a side salad, and then a plate of fruit and berries to split for dessert. We thank Jesus for our beautiful time together as we sit and eat our lunch surrounded by windows as the eye of the storm reaches our hotel. There we are with the rain and thunder pouring down and we are protected by the luxurious hotel and conversation of our God.

I feel romance is defined as a moment so beautiful, so breathtaking that you feel it must be completed by another person you love. That was the kind of moment it was there at the top of the hotel, sitting by the pool over lobster, romance. Luckily I got to share this romantic moment not with my mentor alone, but with the eternal lover of my soul.

After we finished our food she said she had to go back to work but feel free to spend the rest of my day here. first i go get changed into my gym clothes. I hop on the treadmill that is right in front of the window facing Central Park and begin to run as fast as I can rejoicing in the Lord for i am beyond blessed. As i'm running one of the men come by with a cool wet towel rolled up on a wooden square. He uses his utensil to hand the towel to me...WHAT?!After an hour of running i'm ready for the pool.

I walk over to the pool and strip off my sweaty gym clothes, pick a lounge, pick a magazine (HEALTH AND FITNESS, of course) and slither into the pool in my bathing suite. The room is kept at about 89 degrees and the pool is heated as well. I begin to swim laps, delighting in the brilliance of the water. Then i notice the relaxing Zen music in the background, and since the pool is only about 4ft. I began to dance. I danced for an hour in the pool to the music~ it's exhilarating to dance weightless, there's nothing you can't do! Then i got out, relaxed on my lounge, drank my bottled water and read my magazine.

once i finished learning how to be more fit, and more healthy, i traveled back downstairs to go washup in the spa. First, the steam room. It was filled with relaxing herbs that put me right at peace. I sang through my audition songs to warm up my voice with the steam. Next i walked out, passed by the ice fountain (tiny crushed ice falls out of the ceiling into a shell bowl. you can grab a handful to chew on to stay cool...) and then into the double doored rain shower.

Finally clean, so relaxed, i go to their makeup station to put on my makeup, blow dry my hair, and put myself together. I gather my things, kiss my experience good bye...but not before grabbing another free coffee ;) I walk down 5th avenue on my way to work feeling like a million dollars. I thought i needed last nights peaceful sleep to be revitalized but God had a much deeper sense of rest in mind. I was at the hotel from 1p.m.-6:30pm. What a beautifully perfect and blessed day. Thank you God for the loving day I've had.

To see the Peninsula Spa VIdeo copy and paste the link below in your browser. Click on the wellness tab, then the spa, then click "go to video" you won't be disappointed ~ it's CRAZY gorgeous!!!

http://www.peninsula.com/New_York/en/default.aspx#/New_York/en/Wellness/The_Peninsula_Spa_by_ESPA/

Wednesday, June 15, 2011

No Two Artists are Strangers




When it comes to the Sex in the City series... I was a LATE bloomer. I just watched the whole series...maybe even my first episode for the first time last summer. It was after I saw Sex in the City the movie. Everyone said the series was better, and since i was IN LOVE with the feature film, i knew I would love the series. Boy was that just too true!! I would say I'm a combination of Charlotte York and Carrie Bradshaw. But seriously, i just love all the girls! As I was sitting down to my picnic with MY girls in park slope I realized how lucky I am to have the best girlfriends anyone could ask for!



Two years ago when I moved to NYC I remember praying to Jesus for a very strange thing...not just girl friends...it was deeper than that, i prayed for Bridesmaids. Huh? Well see, I realized that most of my life I had my best friend, my boy friend, and then GUY friends. My only friends who were girls were kinda my friends just because we had the same close relationships with the same guys? I know that's somewhat typical for a high school girl but my eyes were opened when i went to my friends wedding the summer before i left and saw that she had a full wedding party of all her girlfriends. i thought, gee--- i have a maid of honor, but i def. don't have any bridesmaids...



So i began praying for not just a group of girls, not just close friends, but a group of girls who knew me inside out so well and loved the core of me so much that I would want them to be by my side for the most important day of my life; my wedding.



My first week in NYC, a group of girls were in an elevator and we were all chatting loudly to someone next to us. Finally we realized we ALL were talking about being hungry, so on a whim we all went to lunch. The two girls sitting next to me were Ellie, and Emma.



Then I got into this class I HATED but needed the credit for. One night I was praying for God to provide me a way out but as I was praying the image of this blond girl in my class kept coming into my head. Okay, i thought. So I'm supposed to be friends with this girl. The next day she invited me to a dance show with her, we had a date~ fell in love, i introduced her to Ellie and Emma and it was fate. The four girls, Jillene, Emma, Hillary, and Ellie were born into friendship ~ we're not exactly sex in the city...but our lives are just as creative, just as interesting, and just as much a TV show.



God has timed life out where i have gotten to know each girl personally one on one as well as enjoy them in our group or at parties. First, I was very close with Ellie for we connected with our belief in God and our Musical theater past. Then when she got the Mumps, Emma and I began to walk to school together since we lived a block away and we grew tight tight tight to the point of going to Scotland together(last summer)! Then when I moved into Hillary's building we got to see each other more and more. My friendship with these girls continue to cycle in waves of all of us being together and having special moments with one another. I love them individually in the deepest way i know how and i love when we are all together enjoying life as a group!




My first year it was us four almost everynight having a different party, tea date, movie night, you name it and now it's not just my 3 girls, I have amazing girlfriends From Courtney my amazing photographer and writer, to Callie my Musical theater Goddess. From my justice fighting Elana, to my caring Public School teacher Emily. Numerous girls from my church I'm falling in love with more and more every time I'm with them...and friends I have yet to meet in the NYU CAP21 summer program. It's gotten to the point that not having enough bridesmaids is not the problem, but how will I ever choose between them? Will I have a wedding party of 20 girls?!



As I sat with my friends at Prospect Park with the elegant Vegan food we had each made and brought for our dinner picnic I couldn't help but feel eternally grateful for the beautiful, amazing, talented, and smart girls i was breaking bread with. Only a God who knows me better than I know myself could have painted this picture i call "my life". Because i am just not that brilliant of an artist to create the masterpiece I walk in everyday.



I have gone through some crazy aspects of life with all of them. I think for all of us some of the most imporatnt things that have happened in our lives have occurred in these past 2 years. Between our selves, our families, boys, and career- we all needed eachother. What would we have done without eachother? As I sat with my friends, i couldn't help but wonder... why have I waited so long to make friends with girls? Do you have a close group of friends you would die for, I do.




*** click on their pictures on the left to see what they're about!

Wednesday, June 8, 2011

My first wedding in NYC


The beautiful woman I Babysit for asked me if I'd like to start working for her business. She has the best business of all...WEDDING PLANNING!! She does the most beautiful weddings. She was even rated one of the top wedding planners of NYC in The Knot! HUGE DEAL!!!


My first wedding...off on my own~ GO! All on my own i was to go to the groomsman's hotel room and deliver their boutonnieres and check in on how they're doing. They were from London so of course had the cutest accents I ever did hear. I was going back and forth between the brides and the grooms room ( in two different hotels) on the upper west side with last minute "needs". I had never been to this hotel or met the wedding party and yet my boss just trusted me to go out and make it happen! I'm honored she noticed my dependability.


I had to call the photographer and the drivers and make sure everyone was on their way and doing their part. That's what a wedding planner does on the day of the wedding...takes care of the wedding party and makes sure everyone else is doing the job we've hired them to do! I was still waiting for one more of the groomsmen. Finally there's a knock on the door. "coming!"


I open the door...we both are just staring at each other not saying anything as he walks in and I open the door for him...after a 15 second silence I put out my hand and we both decide to speak at the exact same time...


"Hi, are you A?"/" You're really beautiful..."


....blushing.....


"Oh I mean, yes I'm A"( in a British accent....)


I go to check on the cars and the grooms men continue to take their pictures with the photographer, then we are off in a black SUV to the beautiful church. Since it was a British wedding, all the guest arrived in glorious hats and crazy colorful dresses. It was like i was at a mini version of the royal ball! The groom calls me to his back room. " I forgot the table name cards!"

He begins freaking out.


"It's okay man- we can totally figure that out after the ceremony we have a few hours in between"


"NO IT'S NOT OKAY!"


...clearly getting a little nervous and taking it out on silly table name cards...I tried to calm him down as much as I could but...I had to go meet up with my boss and the bride in front of the chapel~ so i re assured him all would be well once more then headed towards the front of the church.


The bride looked gorgeous. Her bouquet was Red roses with purple orchids~ beautiful!! And had a classic white satin dress that buttoned all the way down the back. I held the train of her dress as we waited for her cue...then the music started and she was off down the aisle. PHEW!!!! most important part done. We got them both to the wedding and down the aisle. That's what we came here for right?


I was now with my boss...remember i was doing all this stuff on my own before...and we can reconnect about the rest of the day.


After the ceremony, an old fashioned taxi cab that looked like it jumped right out of "who framed roger rabbit" pulled up to the front of the church to escort the newly weds to central park for their photos. Then two huge NYC tour buses came to pick up the guests and give them a free tour before the reception since many of them were form London and hadn't seen NYC. (Such a good idea!!)


D and I then went to the Burden Mansions to prepare the cocktail hour and reception. It was radiating!!! I felt like i was in an English palace. who knew NYC had this much glamor?! The stone stair cases spiraling out into a courtyard and a balcony where the guest can enjoy gourmet hors d'oeuvres and drinks.


As this was going on A and i would continue to make eyes at each other. He would smile and say something cheeky then attend back to his guests....flirt flirt....


D and I were going back and forth between the two mansions. The second mansion is where the reception would be held..and even MORE beautiful than the first. Three flights of red velvet stairs spiraling up towards a cherubim painted ceiling with tea lights on every other step and huge stone walls. At the top there were tall glass mirror doors leading into a banquet room, a dance room, and a drink area.


Each table was a different NYC theme "Tribecca table, 42nd street table, etc...The band accompanied the dinner. They were brilliant. During dinner they played classical jazz and during the dance party they did all the top hits and i swear it sounded like the blackeyed peas were right there in the room! My favorite part was when they were announcing the bridal party into the ballroom. they played the instrumental of empire state of mine. Then when they called " The bridesmaids" she would do a riff and sing "New york"....the father-riff again"New Yorooork" and so on until finally he called....


mr and mrs "x"... piano pounds bump bump bump bump bump( singer wails )

" In new york, concrete jungle where dreams are made of, there's nothin' you can't do, now you're in new york these streets will make you feel brand new the lights will inspire you..." as the guests stood up and cheered!!! It was so powerful.... and beautiful...so fun!

A famous french chef, catered the dinner. every meal was perfect...and I got to actually meet him!!! There was a shrimp pesto salad followed by fillet Mignon and vegetables, a cheese and bread plate, then a chocolate mouse desert with a triangle of chocolate protruding out as decor. They had a wedding cake that was chocolate, vanilla and coffee mouse with cream puffs that were crystallized in sugar. the best dessert I've ever had! Plus a Mariachi band comes during dessert as a little surprise and everyone LOVED it!! it made the very high money ordeal light hearted and fun!


I overhear a telephone conversation A has " Bye Hun" he hangs up quickly as he sees me...I learn he has two kids.... my cue to walk away.....


The rest of the evening goes beautifully! Running up and down the stairs to get tasks done. Calling cars for people who need a ride. Eating amazing food. Getting to take home a huge block of cheese that's lasted forever and flowers as well.

At the end of it all D and I pop into a cab, and luckily we had a real NYC taxi driver...


"how fast can you get me to east 40th street?" (we were on the upper west side of course)


"i need to catch a train in 7 minutes" D says....Now this was the best cab driver I've ever had!!! he's twisting whirling jumping over cars, it was like we were in a movie, and gets her to her Hampton's bound bus with minutes to spare! We say our good byes and I continue in my cab in my little black dress through the New York City lights back to my apartment.


I meet my friends on my roof and tell them all about my enchanted evening....


Only God could have picked my perfect career, and she's booked me for 3 more weddings already- I think I'm in love with my new job....


Saturday, June 4, 2011

Such good Quotes i just had to share them all.....



“Think like a man of action, and act like a man of thought.”
- Henri L. Bergson

“I am only one, but still I am one. I cannot do everything, but still I can do something. And because I cannot do everything I will not refuse to do the something that I can do.”
Hellen Keller

“Half of the troubles of this life can be traced to saying yes too quickly and not saying no soon enough.”
- Josh Billings

“Even if you’re on the right track, you’ll get run over if you just sit there”
- Will Rogers

“Man often becomes what he believes himself to be. If I keep on saying to myself that I cannot do a certain thing, it is possible that I may end by really becoming incapable of doing it. On the contrary, if I have the belief that I can do it, I shall surely acquire the capacity to do it even if I may not have it at the beginning.”
- Mahatma Gandhi

“You can never cross the ocean unless you have the courage to lose sight of the shore.”
- Christopher Columbus

“To a brave man, good and bad luck are like his left and right hand. He uses both.”
- St Catherine of Siena

“When one door of happiness closes, another opens, but often we took so long at the closed door that we do not see the one that has been opened up for us”
- Helen Keller

“We don’t see the things the way they are. We see things the way WE are.”
- Talmund

“Every problem has in it the seeds of its own solution. If you don’t have any problems, you don’t get any seeds.”
- Norman Vincent Peale

“If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change.”
- Dr Wayne Dyer

“The problem is not that there are problems. The problem is expecting otherwise and thinking that having problems is a problem.”
- Theodore Rubin

“Pessimist : A person who says that O is the last letter of ZERO, instead of the first letter in word OPPORTUNITY.”
- Anonymous

“Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.”
- Thomas A Edison

“Blessed are those who can give without remembering and take without forgetting”
- Elizabeth Bibesco

“Yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery. And today? Today is a gift. That’s why we call it the present.”
- B. Olatunji

“When you get to the end of the rope, tie a knot and hang on.”
- Franklin D Roosevelt

“Your attitude, not your aptitude, determines your altitude.”
- Zig Ziglar

“If you’re going through hell, keep going.”
- Winston Churchill

“The secret to success is to start from scratch and keep on scratching.”
- Dennis Green

“Champions aren’t made in gyms. Champions are made from something they have deep inside them a desire, a dream, a vision. They have to have the skill and the will. But the will must be stronger than the skill.”
- Muhammad Ali

“Most of the important things in the world have been accomplished by people who have kept on trying when there seemed to be no hope at all.”
- Dale Carnegie

“So many of our dreams at first seems impossible, then they seem improbable, and then, when we summon the will, they soon become inevitable.”
- Christopher Reeve

“Hard work spotlights the character of people. Some turn up their sleeves. Some turn up their noses, and some don’t turn up at all.”
- Sam Ewing

“There are those who work all day. Those who dream all day. And those who spend an hour dreaming before setting to work to fulfill those dreams. Go into the third category because there’s virtually no competition.”
- Steven J Ross

“Our greatest glory is not in never falling, but in rising every time we fall.”
- Confucious

“Many of life’s failures are people who had not realized how close they were to success when they gave up.”
- Thomas A Edison

“The main thing is to keep the main thing the main thing.”
- Stephen Covey

“Efficiency is doing things right. Effectiveness is doing the right things.”
- Peter Drucker

“Do you know what happens when you give a procrastinator a good idea? Nothing!”
- Donald Gardner

“Success is what you attract by the person you become.”
- Jim Rohn

“You have to ‘Be’ before you can ‘Do’ and ‘Do’ before you can ‘Have’.
- Zig Ziglar

“You can have everything in life that you want if you will just help enough other people to get what they want.”
- Zig Ziglar

“The test we must set for ourselves is not to march alone but to march in such a way that others wish to join us.”
- Hubert Humphrey

“Lots of people want to ride with you in the limo, but what you want is someone who will take the bus when the limo breaks down.”
- Oprah Winfrey

“Formal education will make you a living. Self education will make you a fortune.”
- Jim Rohn

“It isn’t what the book costs. It’s what it will cost you if you don’t read it.”
- Jim Rohn

“You must be the change you want to see in the world.”
- Mahatma Gandhi

“The future has several names. For the weak, it is the impossible. For the fainthearted, it is the unknown. For the thoughtful and valiant, it is the ideal.”
- Victor Hugo

“There is nothing more genuine than breaking away from the chorus to learn the sound of your own voice.”
- Po Bronson

“Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.”
- Waldo Emerson

“Use what talents you possess, the woods will be very silent if no birds sang there except those that sang best.”
- Henry van Dyke

“Do not fear to be eccentric in opinion, for every opinion now accepted was once eccentric.”
- Bertrand Russell

“History will be kind to me, for I intend to write it.”
- Winston Churchill

“Life isn’t about finding yourself. Life’s about creating yourself.”
- George Bernard Shaw

“Live your life each day as you would climb a mountain. An occasional glance towards the summit keeps the goal in mind, but many beautiful scenes are to be observed from each new vintage point.”
- Harold B Melchart

“The tragedy of life doesn’t lie in not reaching your goal. The tragedy lies in having no goals to reach.”
- Benjamin Mays

“More often in life, we end up regretting the chances in life that we had, but didn’t take them, than those chances that we took and wished we hadn’t.”
- Anonymous

“An excuse is worse and more terrible than a lie, for an excuse is a lie guarded.”
- Pope John Paul I

“Don’t wish it were easier, wish you were better. Don’t wish for fewer problems, wish for more skills. Don’t wish for less challenges, wish for more wisdom.”
- Earl Shoaf

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

You can always make life more fun~FUNNER EVEN!~


The other day I remembered one of those amazing nights that stick in your memory forever from highschool...

I was with my BF at the time L, we were going to a Halloween party in Hermosa beach at a house near the strand. Many of our favorite high school bands were playing including my all time favorite " Marvin holley and the sunshine blasters" so it was bound to be a good night. We had matching Halloween outfits, girls in the mob, our boyfriends would be there so clearly we were stoked!

However, for some reason we were uber bored, not feelin what was going on and decided to walk to coffee bean. I remember L and I sitting at the coffee bean with our drinks talking about being really bored, and not having much fun. Our relationship and the night had grown pretty complacent.

Then I remember getting a burst of inspiration and saying, " NO you know what L, this can be the best night of our lives! We just need to make it fun! let's just go back there and get everyone riled up and do something crazy!" She was like all about it! Instantly we were happier. We started laughing and making jokes while skipping and running back to the party.

We ran inside the door to the party just yelling and laughing and getting everyone pumped! We began dancing to the music, with each other...ignoring the boyfriends and just livin' it up! Somehow we discovered that the majority of the girls were wearing red bras...so we yelled "whoever's wearing a red bra leave your shirt and meet us at the life guard tower"! ( that's how i remember it at least...)

So a handful of us...and a few boys of course....ran down to the beach in our pants/ shorts/ skirts etc...and our red bra's to go climb on the lifeguard tower.

We were laughing, taking photos, having a mini dance party, and just having the best night ever...WHY? because we made a point to turn the night upside down! Not only did we have more fun, but we spread the fun to our friends and the party.

There are not a lot of things we don't have control of.... but something we do have control of is the energy we're putting out into the world. Are we lifting ourselves and others up with our energy? Or are we pulling people down? We all have the capability to make this world a better place.... but it's got to start from a deep change inside you to really impact those you are with. But once you find that place, you can make it a norm so that you never find yourself bored again. And if you feel bored setting in...you know right what to do to snap out of it! The more you do it,tap into what you love that is (which in my case is laughing and having a lot of energy) the easier it gets! I don't think i've been bored since!

Oh and a hint at finding some fun...spontaneous and new are usually good places to start...and a red bra doesn't hurt ;)

Tea-Cup Cakes










































My neice is one of the most creative people i know...she's about 7 years old. She's very socially aware for her age. She knows not to be some "annoying first grader" and try to get her aunt and uncles to play some silly thing she would do with her friends but instead is always coming up with creative ideas to bring everyone together. She really has a gift for unity! So when i came home, knowing i love the tv show "cupcake wars, she thought we should have a cupcake wars within our family!!

The cooks were Me, my oldest brother, My mother and brother's girlfriend, Julia( my neice) and my sister in law. Then the judges were my two nephews, my two bothers, and his girlfriends, and then my sister in laws grandmother. We had 2 hours to bake our cupcakes and have them on the table!

They had to judge based on taste, ingredients, and creative presentation. I made "teacup cakes". I wanted to make something that was creative and me! I love tea parties and i love funfetti so i made a funfetti cupcake with cream cheese frosting, with crushed nilla wafers on top. Then i used half of a pretzel for the handle and made a cookie to be the saucer. I tied with my mom for second~ but had so much fun baking and tasting everyones cupcakes with my family!!!

My older brother, the winner, made a vanilla bean cake with a strawberry jam and a banana cinnimon honey frosting. The best cupcake ive ever had! My mother made a pb cupcake, and My sister in law also made a pb cupcake with cookie dough in the center.

Everyones cupcakes were gorgeous!!! I def. reccomend this event for your family!! Cooking always brigns a family together!

Sunday, May 8, 2011

Friday, April 29, 2011

The Power of Seeking Deals


I've never really been a big "coupon girl"...frankly i never had to be. But as "the economy" worsens and my life as an artist continues i realized that i should make friends with discounts and sales!

Now the past 2 years I've been in New York...having hardly any money, i would find deals sometimes, but for the most part just save enough to do something really special every once in a while. But looking at my week this week i've realized how much money i really do save now!


*Membership at NYSC: did the first week for free with Tenka, then 35 days for 35$ online-vs 69$

*since I applied for the Starbucks gold card i get a free drink every 15 stars! free coffee-Vs.5$

*Went to a really nice tanning salon and used a Tenka coupon spent $10-vs. $40

*Got a Bikini and leg wax for $45 going to a place that uses student discount- Vs. $50

*filled out online survey for free "O Coffee"-vs. 5$

*walked a few places vs. taking the subway (like 40 blocks)-Vs. 2.25 each time

>>>>>>>>>That was just this week and I could have spent=$171. 25!!!! But instead I spent:$90.00!!

(and of course I babysat 4 times this week so I wasn't just charging my life away...it's gotta go in the pocket if it's gonna come out)

The deals don't mean bad quality, they just mean smart buying

P.S. Also I would recommend having your own personal checkings acct. that you treat like a savings acct with some random bank. Since we are in college and are always switching money around it's better to have multiple checkings than savings if your going to be moving money a lot...like me. For example, I have 2 checkings with Chase. One for Rent money and One for my personal spending (food utilities movies etc...)

Then i also have a checking in Bank of America where money only goes in! My goal is to have my bottom line equivalent to 2months rent, 2 utilities and 2 groceries which is about $2,200. Then after that just continue putting a little in at a time, unless i have a salary of course. But i made it a checkings because you never know when an emergency is going to happen and need some extra cash but don't want to be charged a certain amount for pulling out of a savings and loosing interest. So instead...for now...I keep it as a checkings acct (that works for me as a savings acct.)


For us artists you never know what kind of jobs you'll be booking so i think it's super important to have a large savings at all times. My family and I lived off our savings for 10 years!!!! My mom was so good about saving! She must've had one heck of a savings to have a family of 5 live in LA off of it.... but who knows where we'd be if she didn't save?!?! She was one smart business woman and i will learn from her whatever I can :)