BaCk to tHe BiG AppLe

Wake up in the morning(feeling like p-diddy) at 6:15 am to get on a plane and fly back to New York city. My dad comes in the room to wake me up and I reluctantly roll out of bed and throw my clothes on. Too tired to really take in that i'm flying across the country , i casually say goodbye to each of my brothers and my mom. My loving father drops me off at the airport and there i am, back on my own again to be a "grownup"...whatever that means.

After dropping my luggage off, going through security, and finding my terminal i set off to get myself a magazine, tea and fruit cup, all the necessary goods for flying. A copy of "us" to be inspired to look beautiful and get thin, a copy of "health" to see actual ways on how to get beautiful and thin, and last my tea and fruit cup to put into action the idea of getting beautiful and thing-i needed distraction...

NOW BOARDING FLIGHT 1703 TO NEWWARK

I have a window seat yes! i can take my blanket, roll it up on the wall and continue sleeping! Good good. I lay my head down but 20 minutes later we start taking off in the lovely storm LA had this past week and let's just say it was a little shaky FULLY waking me from my slumber. no worries though i was able to fall back asleep! cheers!

Three hours go by and it happens...the girl, "me" at the window seat has to go to the bathroom, dreadful. i glance over my shoulder to give a "hey im sorry you're gunna have to move" face but the woman in the aisle is sleeping like a rock and the asian boy next to me is asleep as well but seems like a much lighter sleep. As i go to tap him, while sleeping, he makes three air kisses but they're in reverse. okay imagine blowing kisses to someone but the backwards way where you mouth goes into an awkward open pucker first then into a scrunchy kiss. yeah weird right? so he does that three times, as if on a beat, and then a stream literally like continually flow of spit POURS out of his mouth down his chin and down his entire sweat shirt like there was a teapot living in his mouth pouring this sticky fluid down his whole body. GROSSS!!! So. Not gunna touch him. Easy. Way to foul...

I read my magazines, eat my fruit cup, and write down my grocery list for the week on the last stretch of the flight. We land smoothly, i get off the plane, and rush to the nearest bathroom. WHeW. Get my bags and off i go through the public transportation system back to my appt. Most people would cab it but that costs $75 + while public transportation cost about $17. So i get on the airtrain take that two stops to the railway train take that 3 stops to NY PennStation get on the subway 6 more stops get off at Christopher street and walk a couple blocks to my appt. Quite an ordeal. Then, there i am at the foot of my stairs with an overstuffed backpack, purse, blanket, and 50 lb bag. That bag was going to have to stay there for a second because those 5 flights of stairs seemed pretty daunting.

Once i got up the stairs to my door our floormates friend said hello and invited me to go to their Basketball game. I actually really wanted to go, i love basketball games live. I told him maybe cause i knew i had to settle in . We said our goodbyes then i stepped into my appt. to throw down my bags and plop on my bed for a second to catch my breath before pulling my bag up all those stairs. TO my surprise the appt. was beautiful! Clean as a Whistle. My lovely room mate had not only cleaned but left my christmas present on the table for me! It was so thoughtful: Stationary because i'm always writing back home, a magnet because i wanted one, and recipe cards because I love cooking. AWWWWW! I step back into the kitchen to walk out the door and grab my bag when i hear footsteps going down the stairs and see my bag sitting so politely in my kitchen. My neighbor's friend had taken it up the stairs for me and didn't even pop in for an affirmation about it, but did it just to be sweet! So freakin' nice! I felt so blessed at that moment. God is such a charmer.

Last little bit of the night. I meet up with my friend to go to Trader Joes with her and see her appt. just to get out of the house and visit with her. It was very nice. Then i came home to rent a movie on my computer and enjoy my frozen mangoes i grabbed. I rented "The invention of Lying". It was alright. I really liked how it had almost a spiritual message by talking about "the man in the sky" but once he negates the man in the sky it's like saying to the world that the idea of God is a lie. eww...so not true. Though it also made me think that if the world didn't have white lies around people would feel a lot worse about themselves then they need to because so many people believe what man thinks instead of our loving GOd who loves us just the way we are.

The movie ends and i climb into my electric blanket heated bed (we don't have heat in our appt...yeah sore subject) and lay my head down. Then it hits me. I miss my family so much a pit enters my whole body filling it with emptiness. You know when "the love of your life" breaks up with you and you seriously feel like the world is going to end? THat's how i felt but worse because i knew they loved me back. The muscles in my face actually made a frown so strong it was uncontrollable and i burst into tears. Why am i hear? Why am i CHOOSING to be thousands of miles away from my family. Every break i have to say goodbye again and feel this way AGAIN. That's at least 4 more times. Yes i have my friends out here, a great school, plenty of distractions, but what's life without your family. What's the world like without your best friends around? My family is equally my best friends and therefore i feel a deep loss when they're not around. I began to pray through my tears, "God you're literally all i have. I don't know how to get through this i really do feel that i'm suffering. I'm having to endure patient suffering. Please Bring me Peace...i can't take this, it hurts to bad." And fell asleep.

Normally i'll wake up in the same mood i went to bed with but this morning God had answered my prayers. The day was no longer cloudy but a stream of sunlight poured into my bedroom and I felt happy, warm, and loved. Comforted by the one whole loves me. Ready for the day with a positive head.

We really do have a "Lord full of Compassion and Mercy"-James 5:11b