Little Bird

First a poem:

Little bird with that awful lisp, how did it develop?
You sing, then stutter, then start over, we never get to hear the end of the song because you desire perfection.
But my little bird, you have a stutter, your little song  will sound different from others.
They only wish they had your perfect pitch, so continue your tune little bird.

I wrote this at a time when I was just beginning to realize my overly critical nature towards myself. I've known that I was very critical of others all my life but over time as I got older and matured I also became more understanding and forgiving, as we all do. However, the one thing in my life still black and white, right or wrong, fat or skinny, is myself.

Finding areas in life that are more grey than black and white allows for mystery, wonder and possibility. When the lines are rigid and an idea is already set of what should and shouldn't be happening, everything then becomes right or wrong...with no middle ground, no humility, no curiosity.

I desire to be free from my mind, to be more grateful and optimistic about each day. To be filled with joy hour by hour and inspire others daily. To be the kind of woman that gives life and fresh air with a simple conversation. To have a healing presence.

In four days I'm moving to LA, for a new chapter in my life. I have no idea what I'm doing or where I'm going but I know what I want. I want to be surrounded by amazing men and woman who inspire me and grow me deeper in my faith and creativity. I want people who challenge me and push me to be a redeeming person in the world. I want to have joy and peace in every moment, and not have a single day go by without laughter. I want to learn how my family can love each other better, treat each other better, and enjoy each other deeply. I don't wanna settle I want to be launched into greatness, using my gifts in ways I could never think of. I want to live in a beautiful home that feels like a zen palace that I look forward to coming home to. I want a healthy relationship that's full of friendship, clarity, passion, and inspiration. I want to understand I am loved, love in return, and have grounding self confidence that cannot be shaken while being full of humility. I want to save money, travel, and feel full of energy and from a healthy lifestyle.
 I want to accept my flaws as beauty and say kind things to myself. I'm tired of being a marshmallow, I'm ready to get some wings and fly.


Bye bye marshmallow!

This is who I hope to be in a year. How can I do this without judgement?