let me explain

Today I just finished doing a photo shoot that may be a bit promiscuous and risque for my normal standards. The pictures will be out sometime this summer- these pictures were taken by a highly respected photographer.

I wanted to respond to these photos even before they come out in order for my thoughts and questions to be out there for my followers to see. Here are some questions and answers I had to deal with for myself personally before going into this as well as the thoughts I had about going through with the shoot.

If you plan on marrying a Christian man- how do you think he will feel about these photos?
-I of course plan on marrying a man who loves the Lord, however with a father as a pastor and a mother as a hippy and both of them spontaneous and wild...I have a very expressive side to myself. Every ounce of me desires to be closer and closer in relationship with the Father and that isn't in conflict with expressing my sexuality. The man I'm with for the rest of my life will have to know this aspect of me and need to support it because it's always been there ever since I was a little girl. Wild and innocent all in one. I'm very unpredictable and a follower of Christ. I'm constantly in conversation with myself about supporting both the arts industry and the beauty of heaven.

These pictures were taken when I was on the "higher" end of my weight... you know that number when you say to yourself "Okay girl let's get back in the gym"! This was important when taking these photos because I believe in this project in order to promote a healthy body image for all women and young girls of all shapes and sizes. I've personally struggled as a dancer with various eating disorders my whole life. It's been a long and tough process trying to navigate through them and something I battle with daily. On this pathway to recovery, I may be on the higher end of the scale right now but, I'm also on the higher end of health for my mind and soul. You don't have to be cellulite free, skinny, and toned to have beauty. Beauty is something within that radiates to the outside of you. God made all bodies- therefore all bodies are beautiful because they were made in the image of God...I'm real, I'm curvy, and totally imperfect. That's what I want to express...beauty in the imperfections.

Bravery. This took a lot of courage for me to do. I wasn't instantly all for taking pictures like these. And honestly I'm not super comfortable with how over-sexualized they looked once I saw the angles from which they were taken from. However, I wanted to teach myself that I can be expressive in my sexuality and still be a virgin saving herself for marriage. These two things don't need to be in battle. I'm sure I will look back and think this is too far left, while at another point in life i was too far right. I hope one day to find a happy medium of purity and sexuality. But right now this is where my exploration is taking me. It's my senior year and celebrating it by loving myself, my bare self!

I've always wanted to model!
Something the photographer said that really settled me was: "The most important thing is that you feel comfortable. The internet is a big place, so the images will be seen. .. you will be joining the ranks of not only all the amazing real girls on the site, but also Victoria Secrets Models, very well known TV and Movie Actresses, and SI swimsuit models as well..." it's exciting to be along side these brave and confident woman in the industry.

I'm supporting an artist and his work
I'm a lover of Jesus and an expressive being
I believe in loving myself, virginity, and expressing sexuality and beauty in a safe environment
We were created as bodies, temples, that should be valued at all shapes and sizes.

The other girls are daring and setting a huge example of what true beauty can be. Not bodies highly edited by vogue editors but real bodies in their envirnments.
I'm delighted to be a part of this project and bringing light to the natural body.